Life

Finding Peace Amidst Parenting Chaos

When I was younger I never understood it when my mom would ask for “just a few minutes of quiet” it never made sense to me. I hated it when it was too quiet. I mean I grew up with 4 siblings, one who liked to sing opera, and due to our age differences I had nieces and nephews by the time I was 8 years old. All this to say, I wasn’t used to quiet. I was used to music, talking, and background noise which is how I learned to work. Even with school I needed music or some kind of noise in the background whenever I did homework or tests.

But now that I am older, and a Mom myself, I think I understand what my mom meant when she asked for quiet. I am still the same in a sense. When I am working I still need something in the background. Sometimes its music, sometimes its a tv show that I have seen already, just something. But now my usual background sound is also accompanied by something else. It’s followed by a barrage of “Mommy’s” every few minutes, accompanied by yet another question I may or may not know how to answer. Seriously, the questions they come up with. If it’s not the constant calling of “Mommy” then its the bickering. The ‘she took this’ or ‘she did that’ if you’ve seen Lilo and Stitch and can picture that “She’s touching me!” scene, that is what life is like with a 6 and 7 year old. To top it all off they also like to have background noise just like me. So they put on their tv shows or their music, both of which are definitely NOT conducive to concentration. I mean I’m a fan of Jack Black but if I have to listen to one more Peaches or Lava Chicken… So anyways, all of this coupled together every day from morning to night, is overwhelming, overstimulating, and makes me long for silence.

I saw a video not long ago, I wish I remember who made it to give them credit, but essentially it was a mom who told her kids to call her by her actual name for 1 hour. To give her a ‘mom break’ I thought that was silly but also pretty smart. But then when I thought about doing that with my girls I just knew that they would get such a kick out of it that they would be calling my Deby about a thousand times within that hour, so I decided not to test that method out. What I did start doing after much thought and prayer, was Instacart deliveries. I know that is probably not what you thought I would say. But my reasoning was this. I work full time from home while teaching the girls. We get out of the house for swimming lessons, parks, and the occasional field trip. But even then, I am always on high alert to always keep an eye on them, so I can’t say it’s entirely peaceful. I decided to do something that would get me out of the house occasionally on my own. I enjoy shopping for groceries but there’s only so many we need for ourselves so I thought why not go grocery shopping, without having to spend my own money? Even better, why not make some extra cash while doing it? So yeah, that’s how I decided to do Instacart deliveries. In the end, you know what ended up being my favorite part? The drive. There’s something almost meditative about being in the car by yourself in silence. No music, no one needing you or asking a question, just the sound of the air conditioning blasting and the dull hum of the engine. I could use that time to think about whatever I wanted, or nothing at all. Or even just use the time to pray. It was during that moment, that I finally understood what my mom meant all those times when she just asked for some quiet.

Life

Conquer Household Chaos with Micro Lists

I was thinking today about everything that I needed to do, and was debating making a list of it all. After all there’s a lot to get done. We’re behind on laundry and no matter how much we clean, little 5 and 7 year old feet track in more and more mess immediately after; seriously I have leaves on my kitchen floor that I have no idea where they came from. Life is hectic and chaotic. But every time I have made a to-do list in the past, it never seemed to work. In fact I would find myself more stressed and overwhelmed. Even if I would check off one of the items at the top of the list the sheer amount remaining on the list would be daunting and have me feel like I would never get it all done anyways, so why bother? I don’t know, maybe it’s just my brain that works that way. If I were to write down everything that needs to get done right now, I would fill up a page or two, front and back. I don’t know about you, but that’s the reality at our house. We both work full time and we both have our own lists of things that need to get done. Throw in kids, pets, and homeschooling and it just keeps piling on.

Today an idea popped in my head to make a micro list. Companies, when working on big projects, will actually break it down into smaller, attainable(key word here), goals. This way you have something smaller to focus on, once you finish the smaller goals you move on to the next one, next thing you know you are done and the project is finished. Why shouldn’t we use this same concept in our own lives? Being parents and maintaining your house is hard enough. Being parents and maintaining your house while you both work full time and one of you is in school while the other homeschools the kids? That feels impossible. So why shouldn’t we use the same ideas that big companies use regularly to accomplish their own goals? Instead of letting everything pile up until the weekend, your only 2 days off, why not break it up into smaller, micro goals? Imagine getting to a point where you reach the weekend and actually get to enjoy it instead of catching up on everything you’ve fallen behind on? I don’t know about you but I’m really looking forward to being able to do that one day.

If this sounds like your life then I challenge you to start your own micro lists with me today. I’m starting with 3 things on the list.

  • Finish all of the adults’ laundry (kids’ laundry will be a different day)
  • Wipe down all of the counter tops and put dishes away
  • Sweep kitchen/dining floor

Three items that I believe I can attain after work, before the end of the day. I don’t know about you but looking at a small list like this actually makes me feel hopeful, like I can get this done. I know there’s more that needs to be done in the background, decluttering, organizing, you name it. But for today, lets focus on our micro list and see how we feel about it afterwards.