Life

Finding Peace Amidst Parenting Chaos

When I was younger I never understood it when my mom would ask for “just a few minutes of quiet” it never made sense to me. I hated it when it was too quiet. I mean I grew up with 4 siblings, one who liked to sing opera, and due to our age differences I had nieces and nephews by the time I was 8 years old. All this to say, I wasn’t used to quiet. I was used to music, talking, and background noise which is how I learned to work. Even with school I needed music or some kind of noise in the background whenever I did homework or tests.

But now that I am older, and a Mom myself, I think I understand what my mom meant when she asked for quiet. I am still the same in a sense. When I am working I still need something in the background. Sometimes its music, sometimes its a tv show that I have seen already, just something. But now my usual background sound is also accompanied by something else. It’s followed by a barrage of “Mommy’s” every few minutes, accompanied by yet another question I may or may not know how to answer. Seriously, the questions they come up with. If it’s not the constant calling of “Mommy” then its the bickering. The ‘she took this’ or ‘she did that’ if you’ve seen Lilo and Stitch and can picture that “She’s touching me!” scene, that is what life is like with a 6 and 7 year old. To top it all off they also like to have background noise just like me. So they put on their tv shows or their music, both of which are definitely NOT conducive to concentration. I mean I’m a fan of Jack Black but if I have to listen to one more Peaches or Lava Chicken… So anyways, all of this coupled together every day from morning to night, is overwhelming, overstimulating, and makes me long for silence.

I saw a video not long ago, I wish I remember who made it to give them credit, but essentially it was a mom who told her kids to call her by her actual name for 1 hour. To give her a ‘mom break’ I thought that was silly but also pretty smart. But then when I thought about doing that with my girls I just knew that they would get such a kick out of it that they would be calling my Deby about a thousand times within that hour, so I decided not to test that method out. What I did start doing after much thought and prayer, was Instacart deliveries. I know that is probably not what you thought I would say. But my reasoning was this. I work full time from home while teaching the girls. We get out of the house for swimming lessons, parks, and the occasional field trip. But even then, I am always on high alert to always keep an eye on them, so I can’t say it’s entirely peaceful. I decided to do something that would get me out of the house occasionally on my own. I enjoy shopping for groceries but there’s only so many we need for ourselves so I thought why not go grocery shopping, without having to spend my own money? Even better, why not make some extra cash while doing it? So yeah, that’s how I decided to do Instacart deliveries. In the end, you know what ended up being my favorite part? The drive. There’s something almost meditative about being in the car by yourself in silence. No music, no one needing you or asking a question, just the sound of the air conditioning blasting and the dull hum of the engine. I could use that time to think about whatever I wanted, or nothing at all. Or even just use the time to pray. It was during that moment, that I finally understood what my mom meant all those times when she just asked for some quiet.

Life

Revamped and Renewed 2022!

The date on my last post was 2017 and to be perfectly honest I completely forgot that this blog was still active (I happened to notice the renewal receipt email among my hundreds of unread email). I thought that maybe it is about time to get back into it. If there’s still any followers left from the old days I’m sorry to tell you that I will no longer be focusing primarily on photography anymore. Not because I don’t like taking pictures anymore (because you will still see a lot of them) but because like so many I have grown and I have changed.

So much has changed since 2017.

Emily and Anastasia

I have experienced childbirth, and have been blessed with 2 beautiful daughters. I am their mother, their friend, and their teacher and while I will do my best to not be one of those moms who only talks about their kids, if you don’t like hearing about children then this blog may not be for you because I am sure that they will come up again.

That being said, the road has not been smooth sailing because while there are beginnings there are also ends. I have experienced loss of both a grandparent and a mother and have experienced the sorrow of losing a loved one. I have lived through a pandemic, have gone from working in the office to working from home. Have both gone back to school as well as start to homeschool.

The years have truly flown in a whirlwind of change. I have gained new friends, and have reconnected with old ones. I’ve gotten back to drawing and writing stories, have started painting, and have even learned to crochet.

Mom’s Funeral 2021, Masks still required
Beginning of the Covid Pandemic, 2019

So you see with so much change in the world and in life it only makes sense that it is time for this blog to also change as well. I can’t continue with the blog as I did back in 2017 because I am not the same person that I was back in 2017. My life has changed so much and the times back then are now memories that I look fondly back on.

So without further ado, I will be posting now during my little pieces of quiet moments. The moments where I have a minute to sit down and type. To share in thoughts and life and whatever else may come in between. I honestly don’t have high expectations for this blog because I am not a social influencer and am not striving to be. I can’t really say I have a set theme because it is pretty impossible for me to stick to one. I have so many interests and life gets so busy and hectic sometimes that it feels as if it is stuck on fast-forward. This blog, is instead, a way for me to take a step back from it all and take a moment to breath and if anyone reads this, I encourage you to also take a moment for yourself to just breath. Take a minute to quiet the noise.

There is strength to be found in the solitude of quiet moments.

Harpreet M. Dayal