Life

Finding Peace Amidst Parenting Chaos

When I was younger I never understood it when my mom would ask for “just a few minutes of quiet” it never made sense to me. I hated it when it was too quiet. I mean I grew up with 4 siblings, one who liked to sing opera, and due to our age differences I had nieces and nephews by the time I was 8 years old. All this to say, I wasn’t used to quiet. I was used to music, talking, and background noise which is how I learned to work. Even with school I needed music or some kind of noise in the background whenever I did homework or tests.

But now that I am older, and a Mom myself, I think I understand what my mom meant when she asked for quiet. I am still the same in a sense. When I am working I still need something in the background. Sometimes its music, sometimes its a tv show that I have seen already, just something. But now my usual background sound is also accompanied by something else. It’s followed by a barrage of “Mommy’s” every few minutes, accompanied by yet another question I may or may not know how to answer. Seriously, the questions they come up with. If it’s not the constant calling of “Mommy” then its the bickering. The ‘she took this’ or ‘she did that’ if you’ve seen Lilo and Stitch and can picture that “She’s touching me!” scene, that is what life is like with a 6 and 7 year old. To top it all off they also like to have background noise just like me. So they put on their tv shows or their music, both of which are definitely NOT conducive to concentration. I mean I’m a fan of Jack Black but if I have to listen to one more Peaches or Lava Chicken… So anyways, all of this coupled together every day from morning to night, is overwhelming, overstimulating, and makes me long for silence.

I saw a video not long ago, I wish I remember who made it to give them credit, but essentially it was a mom who told her kids to call her by her actual name for 1 hour. To give her a ‘mom break’ I thought that was silly but also pretty smart. But then when I thought about doing that with my girls I just knew that they would get such a kick out of it that they would be calling my Deby about a thousand times within that hour, so I decided not to test that method out. What I did start doing after much thought and prayer, was Instacart deliveries. I know that is probably not what you thought I would say. But my reasoning was this. I work full time from home while teaching the girls. We get out of the house for swimming lessons, parks, and the occasional field trip. But even then, I am always on high alert to always keep an eye on them, so I can’t say it’s entirely peaceful. I decided to do something that would get me out of the house occasionally on my own. I enjoy shopping for groceries but there’s only so many we need for ourselves so I thought why not go grocery shopping, without having to spend my own money? Even better, why not make some extra cash while doing it? So yeah, that’s how I decided to do Instacart deliveries. In the end, you know what ended up being my favorite part? The drive. There’s something almost meditative about being in the car by yourself in silence. No music, no one needing you or asking a question, just the sound of the air conditioning blasting and the dull hum of the engine. I could use that time to think about whatever I wanted, or nothing at all. Or even just use the time to pray. It was during that moment, that I finally understood what my mom meant all those times when she just asked for some quiet.

Life

Putting Down The Phone And Getting Back To Paper.

These last two months have been quite something. Somehow, so many of our plans/trips ended up lining up in such a way that almost every weekend was something, one weekend driving to beach, not long after driving 6 hours to Tennessee. We’ve put in a combined total of 32+ road trip hours in the last 2 months. Our most recent adventure was a 4 day cabin stay in the Smokies where we had booked a ride on the Polar Express, a great little train ride that the kids really enjoyed. The great part about this trip was that it was with family, and as I’ve heard someone say before, cousins are the best free babysitters. Now that the girls are a little older, more specifically old enough that I don’t have to constantly worry about them being near staircases, this was a nice relaxing little trip. The girls spent days hanging out with their cousins while I got to enjoy my time with family, soaking in a hot tub, and playing board games.

As we get closer to the holidays I have really been getting hit with the chaos of everything going on. I have chores to do, presents to wrap, and more plans on the schedule, thankfully though no more road trips for the time being. But I also am not able to crochet for the time being which was one of my go-to methods of unwinding and with this new development I have decided to get back to what I would call the root of my hobbies, and that would be reading. I have always considered myself a book worm as I have always loved reading ever since I first learned how. I own well over 500 books (not counting children books) but after having my 2 girls I have to admit that I have been slacking. This is not to say that I haven’t read anything, but when it came to my growing pile of books in the ‘to read’ pile my response was always “I just don’t have any time.” But I do have time, it just involves better time management, after all I still find time to browse through social media or play games on my phone, if I have time for those then I have time to read a book, even if it is just one chapter a day.

Children are great imitators, so give them something great to imitate.

Anonymous

Another big, big, factor in why I am pushing myself to put down the electronics and pick up my books is because I also want to instill this love of books in my daughters. It is why I also try to read to them regularly and why they probably have close to just as many books as I do. Children learn more by what they see and watch and I want them to learn healthy habits and hobbies.