Tag: mental-health

Picture of a sand clock with the bible verse about not worrying about tomorrow. Embrace the Present: Celebrate the Victories
Life

Embrace the Present: Celebrate the Victories

Deby Ciui (Chewy)Leave a comment

I’ve come to the realization that lately, a large portion of my time has been spent thinking about the future.

  • I’ll do this when I get a new job…
  • I’ll finally be able to do this once I have more…
  • I can’t wait until we move and I can…

To give some examples of future dreams that are always on my mind. But I also find myself getting lost in the to-do lists of the future. Whether its getting stuck thinking about how busy I am going to be when homeschooling starts again in August, everything we have to prepare for our vacation next month, planning the budget for this month. These are all tasks and goals that will eventually need to be done but why am I letting them stress me out now? Why am I getting overwhelmed now, for something that I’m not going to have to deal with until months from now and in all likeliness will not even be as bad as I am making it out to be in my head.

When you are a new mom they tell you to enjoy the moment while it lasts because you will blink and they will be grown and getting ready to move out. That statement is very much true. When you’re younger it is like time moves at a snail’s pace everything takes “foreeeeeever” as my daughters would say. But when you’re grown, without even realizing it, time seems to hit the fast forward button. One minute you are celebrating New Years with your family and the next you realize half the year is already gone.

So then back to my main statement, why am I wasting the precious time I have with my mind on the future? Don’t get me wrong, thinking about the future is good. Having dreams is wonderful (I have so many of them). But I need to stop getting so lost in ‘the future’ that I am not present in the, well, the present. I seem to get lost in the fog of it and it is overwhelming to think about all of the things I want to do with my life and many times I find that I forget about the accomplishments that I have made until that point and treat them as if they didn’t really matter.

I want to change that part of my mindset, starting now. So I have been thinking about different ways I may be able to do that.

  1. Health/Weightloss: Instead of thinking about how much time and work it is going to take to get to my goals, focus on what I can do today. Did I make good choices, today. Did I try to do some kind of exercise, today. And so on.
  2. Homeschooling: We are on summer break, don’t stress about the homeschool schedule that is going to be to months from now. Focus on today, what can I informally teach my children today? Maybe they have a question or need help learning how to do something or use something.
  3. Household Chores: My nemesis. Let’s face it, these never end. I already implement my strategy of Micro To-Do lists, but I need to make sure I stop adding something to that list if I already know there is no way I am going to be able to finish it. If I want to do something big, like re-organize the pantry, I know I will not be able to finish that within the span of today, not with work and everything else I have going on. So my plan going forward with these ‘big’ chores, is to pick 1 thing that I know I can accomplish that day that will get me one step closer to my goal. Falling back on the example of the re-organizing the panty. I know I wont be able to finish the full re-organization today. But if my pantry has 6 shelves then I can start from top to bottom and re-organize 1 shelf at a time.

These are just 3 main categories from my life. But my method moving forward is to focus on what I can accomplish now. What can I get done today, with the time that I have. I don’t want to give myself impossible tasks that I know I won’t be able to do because I am just setting myself up for failure. If I know I am going to be gone from 8am-8pm then why would I add clean the living room to my to-do list (yes, I have done this)? I’m just going to feel defeated when I see the list and nothing is crossed off. But you know what happens when I assign myself tasks that I am able to accomplish and I get to cross those items from the list? I feel a sense of accomplishment and renewed energy. The same can be applied to my health/weightloss journey. If all I do is focus on the number of pounds I want to lose I will be too focused on the future. Instead I want to focus on what I can do today. I am going to eat well-rounded meals and take breaks from my desk so I can do a few minutes of exercise.

My goal moving forward is to set myself up for success, not failure, and to celebrate the victories no matter how small they may seem to others.

Two Wolves Story: Choose Positivity for 2026
Life

Two Wolves Story: Choose Positivity for 2026

Deby Ciui (Chewy)Leave a comment

Happy Thanksgiving, Merry Christmas, and Happy New Year!

Congratulations, we survived the holidays! If you are like me, you are probably still trying to get life back in order or maybe salvage what remains of your day-to-day routine. Or, like me, you may be learning that some parts of your routine just weren’t working anymore and you need to change things to adapt with the season. New year, new changes, or as some say new resolutions.

I know we are already a month into 2026, which honestly is hard enough to believe. But that doesn’t mean its too late to start thinking about what you want this year to be. Where do you want your focus to be? Do you want to start your typical health goals? Focus more on your career or family? Are you looking out into the world or within? Maybe these questions are too philosophical and to be honest I don’t even know why I am asking them; this is not what I was intending to write about today. But here I am.

The reality is that these are questions that everyone typically thinks about at the end/beginning of a new year. I know I definitely have. I have a journal and vision board of different things I want to do and accomplish this year. I did the same thing last year, and I will do the same thing next year. It is common practice to make new years resolutions. Lists of goals you wish to achieve or maybe changes you want to make. Even within the corporate world, the start of a new year typically come with big changes. Re-structuring happens, some get promoted, others get laid off. New years bring new changes.

For me it makes me think about the story about the two wolves. I’ve only heard this story through word of mouth so I don’t know where it originated from and I don’t take credit for it, but essentially a grandfather tells his grandson a story about two wolves fighting. One wolf represents good things, love, compassion, joy, kindness, etc. The other wolf represents the bad things: evil, lies, greed, etc. As the wolves are fighting the grandson asks his grandfather, ‘which wolf will win?” and the grandfather responds with “whichever wolf you feed.” But its not just characteristics that this applies to, but everything within your life. What you speak. What you focus on. If you speak negative words and focus on the negative, then the negative will win. You will be miserable and you will think about all the ‘bad things that happen to you’. Whereas if you focus on the positive, speak positive, likewise you will see a shift happen. The negative things will start to have less of an impact on you and you will have a more positive filled life. Like attracts like as they say.

Which wolf are you going to feed this year?

Conquer Household Chaos with Micro Lists
Life

Conquer Household Chaos with Micro Lists

Deby Ciui (Chewy)1 Comment

I was thinking today about everything that I needed to do, and was debating making a list of it all. After all there’s a lot to get done. We’re behind on laundry and no matter how much we clean, little 5 and 7 year old feet track in more and more mess immediately after; seriously I have leaves on my kitchen floor that I have no idea where they came from. Life is hectic and chaotic. But every time I have made a to-do list in the past, it never seemed to work. In fact I would find myself more stressed and overwhelmed. Even if I would check off one of the items at the top of the list the sheer amount remaining on the list would be daunting and have me feel like I would never get it all done anyways, so why bother? I don’t know, maybe it’s just my brain that works that way. If I were to write down everything that needs to get done right now, I would fill up a page or two, front and back. I don’t know about you, but that’s the reality at our house. We both work full time and we both have our own lists of things that need to get done. Throw in kids, pets, and homeschooling and it just keeps piling on.

Today an idea popped in my head to make a micro list. Companies, when working on big projects, will actually break it down into smaller, attainable(key word here), goals. This way you have something smaller to focus on, once you finish the smaller goals you move on to the next one, next thing you know you are done and the project is finished. Why shouldn’t we use this same concept in our own lives? Being parents and maintaining your house is hard enough. Being parents and maintaining your house while you both work full time and one of you is in school while the other homeschools the kids? That feels impossible. So why shouldn’t we use the same ideas that big companies use regularly to accomplish their own goals? Instead of letting everything pile up until the weekend, your only 2 days off, why not break it up into smaller, micro goals? Imagine getting to a point where you reach the weekend and actually get to enjoy it instead of catching up on everything you’ve fallen behind on? I don’t know about you but I’m really looking forward to being able to do that one day.

If this sounds like your life then I challenge you to start your own micro lists with me today. I’m starting with 3 things on the list.

  • Finish all of the adults’ laundry (kids’ laundry will be a different day)
  • Wipe down all of the counter tops and put dishes away
  • Sweep kitchen/dining floor

Three items that I believe I can attain after work, before the end of the day. I don’t know about you but looking at a small list like this actually makes me feel hopeful, like I can get this done. I know there’s more that needs to be done in the background, decluttering, organizing, you name it. But for today, lets focus on our micro list and see how we feel about it afterwards.