Tag: love

Picture of a sand clock with the bible verse about not worrying about tomorrow. Embrace the Present: Celebrate the Victories
Life

Embrace the Present: Celebrate the Victories

Deby Ciui (Chewy)Leave a comment

I’ve come to the realization that lately, a large portion of my time has been spent thinking about the future.

  • I’ll do this when I get a new job…
  • I’ll finally be able to do this once I have more…
  • I can’t wait until we move and I can…

To give some examples of future dreams that are always on my mind. But I also find myself getting lost in the to-do lists of the future. Whether its getting stuck thinking about how busy I am going to be when homeschooling starts again in August, everything we have to prepare for our vacation next month, planning the budget for this month. These are all tasks and goals that will eventually need to be done but why am I letting them stress me out now? Why am I getting overwhelmed now, for something that I’m not going to have to deal with until months from now and in all likeliness will not even be as bad as I am making it out to be in my head.

When you are a new mom they tell you to enjoy the moment while it lasts because you will blink and they will be grown and getting ready to move out. That statement is very much true. When you’re younger it is like time moves at a snail’s pace everything takes “foreeeeeever” as my daughters would say. But when you’re grown, without even realizing it, time seems to hit the fast forward button. One minute you are celebrating New Years with your family and the next you realize half the year is already gone.

So then back to my main statement, why am I wasting the precious time I have with my mind on the future? Don’t get me wrong, thinking about the future is good. Having dreams is wonderful (I have so many of them). But I need to stop getting so lost in ‘the future’ that I am not present in the, well, the present. I seem to get lost in the fog of it and it is overwhelming to think about all of the things I want to do with my life and many times I find that I forget about the accomplishments that I have made until that point and treat them as if they didn’t really matter.

I want to change that part of my mindset, starting now. So I have been thinking about different ways I may be able to do that.

  1. Health/Weightloss: Instead of thinking about how much time and work it is going to take to get to my goals, focus on what I can do today. Did I make good choices, today. Did I try to do some kind of exercise, today. And so on.
  2. Homeschooling: We are on summer break, don’t stress about the homeschool schedule that is going to be to months from now. Focus on today, what can I informally teach my children today? Maybe they have a question or need help learning how to do something or use something.
  3. Household Chores: My nemesis. Let’s face it, these never end. I already implement my strategy of Micro To-Do lists, but I need to make sure I stop adding something to that list if I already know there is no way I am going to be able to finish it. If I want to do something big, like re-organize the pantry, I know I will not be able to finish that within the span of today, not with work and everything else I have going on. So my plan going forward with these ‘big’ chores, is to pick 1 thing that I know I can accomplish that day that will get me one step closer to my goal. Falling back on the example of the re-organizing the panty. I know I wont be able to finish the full re-organization today. But if my pantry has 6 shelves then I can start from top to bottom and re-organize 1 shelf at a time.

These are just 3 main categories from my life. But my method moving forward is to focus on what I can accomplish now. What can I get done today, with the time that I have. I don’t want to give myself impossible tasks that I know I won’t be able to do because I am just setting myself up for failure. If I know I am going to be gone from 8am-8pm then why would I add clean the living room to my to-do list (yes, I have done this)? I’m just going to feel defeated when I see the list and nothing is crossed off. But you know what happens when I assign myself tasks that I am able to accomplish and I get to cross those items from the list? I feel a sense of accomplishment and renewed energy. The same can be applied to my health/weightloss journey. If all I do is focus on the number of pounds I want to lose I will be too focused on the future. Instead I want to focus on what I can do today. I am going to eat well-rounded meals and take breaks from my desk so I can do a few minutes of exercise.

My goal moving forward is to set myself up for success, not failure, and to celebrate the victories no matter how small they may seem to others.

Finding Peace Amidst Parenting Chaos
Life

Finding Peace Amidst Parenting Chaos

Deby Ciui (Chewy)Leave a comment

When I was younger I never understood it when my mom would ask for “just a few minutes of quiet” it never made sense to me. I hated it when it was too quiet. I mean I grew up with 4 siblings, one who liked to sing opera, and due to our age differences I had nieces and nephews by the time I was 8 years old. All this to say, I wasn’t used to quiet. I was used to music, talking, and background noise which is how I learned to work. Even with school I needed music or some kind of noise in the background whenever I did homework or tests.

But now that I am older, and a Mom myself, I think I understand what my mom meant when she asked for quiet. I am still the same in a sense. When I am working I still need something in the background. Sometimes its music, sometimes its a tv show that I have seen already, just something. But now my usual background sound is also accompanied by something else. It’s followed by a barrage of “Mommy’s” every few minutes, accompanied by yet another question I may or may not know how to answer. Seriously, the questions they come up with. If it’s not the constant calling of “Mommy” then its the bickering. The ‘she took this’ or ‘she did that’ if you’ve seen Lilo and Stitch and can picture that “She’s touching me!” scene, that is what life is like with a 6 and 7 year old. To top it all off they also like to have background noise just like me. So they put on their tv shows or their music, both of which are definitely NOT conducive to concentration. I mean I’m a fan of Jack Black but if I have to listen to one more Peaches or Lava Chicken… So anyways, all of this coupled together every day from morning to night, is overwhelming, overstimulating, and makes me long for silence.

I saw a video not long ago, I wish I remember who made it to give them credit, but essentially it was a mom who told her kids to call her by her actual name for 1 hour. To give her a ‘mom break’ I thought that was silly but also pretty smart. But then when I thought about doing that with my girls I just knew that they would get such a kick out of it that they would be calling my Deby about a thousand times within that hour, so I decided not to test that method out. What I did start doing after much thought and prayer, was Instacart deliveries. I know that is probably not what you thought I would say. But my reasoning was this. I work full time from home while teaching the girls. We get out of the house for swimming lessons, parks, and the occasional field trip. But even then, I am always on high alert to always keep an eye on them, so I can’t say it’s entirely peaceful. I decided to do something that would get me out of the house occasionally on my own. I enjoy shopping for groceries but there’s only so many we need for ourselves so I thought why not go grocery shopping, without having to spend my own money? Even better, why not make some extra cash while doing it? So yeah, that’s how I decided to do Instacart deliveries. In the end, you know what ended up being my favorite part? The drive. There’s something almost meditative about being in the car by yourself in silence. No music, no one needing you or asking a question, just the sound of the air conditioning blasting and the dull hum of the engine. I could use that time to think about whatever I wanted, or nothing at all. Or even just use the time to pray. It was during that moment, that I finally understood what my mom meant all those times when she just asked for some quiet.