Perhaps one of my favorite ways to unwind, to detach myself from the chaos of the world, is to escape on an adventure into a new one. I have always been a lover of books. Ever since I first learned how to read I was hooked. I even remember my very first book report that I made (If You Give A Mouse a Cookie) and have purchased the complete set for my own children. I was a regular customer of the school library and one of the very first things I did after getting a drivers license was getting a library card at the nearest public library.
But that only lasted until I got my first job, at which point I traded in public libraries for used bookstores and have been growing my personal collection over the years. I’ll admit, after getting married and having children, the amount of time I spent reading had dwindled. It seemed as if I never had the time to do it. But now the girls are older and I have grown as well and with that personal growth came the realization that with the time I spent getting lost in the black hole known as social media reels, I could instead take that time and put it back into a hobby I had let fall to the wayside. That’s exactly what I’ve done. I’ve rekindled that love to adventure into a good book. I’m finding myself trade in my phone for my book more and more and that’s honestly how I’d prefer it. Although I’ll admit that now, when I do end up going on social media, I find myself inundated with bookstagrammers posts and have a wish-list that is forever growing longer.
Strangely enough though, what I have found to love the most is that I can now enjoy reading with my husband. We may not read all of the same books, after all we definitely have different interests but we do have some overlapping categories. When I was younger, having a husband who enjoyed reading was not something I really thought about. Sure I loved to read but I didn’t mind if he did not, honestly I hadn’t even considered the alternative. But now we have been reading the Wheel of Time series together (you’ve likely seen them featured in pictures on other posts) and to be honest it feels great to have something we can do together and enjoy. If I think about it, I probably have to give him the credit for getting me back into reading in the first place.
As life, school and work goes by time can get away from you and when you have a 5 year old and a 3 year old, sometimes your patience and clarity can also get away from you. As a parent you want to teach your children, to help them grow and to create memories that will last them a life time. When my girls asked to go to a splash park, something that they have never experienced before, I knew that I wanted to make this happen for them. So on a day that I actually had off I let them choose between going to the splash park or the playground and they chose the splash park, as I expected. So we all got ready, everyone was excited, and we drove to our local community splash pad. It was a new environment for all of us, with a large playground and a huge outdoor splash area that was full of kids, as would be expected on such a hot day.
Well, things did not go as planned. Where I was expecting them to immediately jump right in and have fun I was instead met with frozen statues. My oldest who loves to climb said that she didn’t like the playground because it was just climbing stuff and no slides and my youngest who loves water refused to go anywhere near the splash pad. They were frozen in a state of shyness with frowns on their faces that honestly aggravated me. I finally had a day off and was able to do something that they have been wanting but they were not cooperating. I tried to encourage them to go into it, even carried them into the splash pad and slowly getting them wet, played with them which they enjoyed and laughed at but as soon as I tried to let them play amongst themselves or go interact with other kids they froze. When encouragement didn’t work I told them we would go back home but they would cry that they didn’t want to (I don’t blame them) but they still refused to move an inch and just stood frozen. I was getting frustrated and neither of us were getting any joy out of the situation.
Honestly, I was upset and felt like the whole purpose of my taking them out was a failure. I wanted to show them a new place and let them have new experiences and meet new people but they were having none of it. Nothing I tried worked to get them to go have fun. They complained about there being too many kids. Complained about the equipment. And refused to go to anywhere near the water. I honestly wanted to just pack things up and go back home but I took a breath and then asked them if they wanted to go to our usual playground instead and they immediately perked up. So I packed them back up in the car and we went on our way.
The drive towards our usual playground I was thinking about the situation. I was frustrated with the whole outcome while simultaneously worried about whether I was failing them in some way. Since I homeschool I worried that maybe I haven’t been giving them enough socialization with other kids, even though I know that they have plenty of interaction with other kids and normally make new friends very easily. We got to our usual playground and they cheered. We get to the playground and it was like they were completely different children. They ran and played. They introduced themselves to other kids who were there and started to play games together. It was nothing like what we had experienced earlier.
That was when I realized that while I am older and understand the joy and excitement of trying new things or visiting new places for them everything is new, and new can be scary. Having a new environment in addition to a gaggle of new people and kids was too much and was overwhelming. I heavily suspect that if there had been even 1 other person or child they knew there then they would have warmed up to the environment eventually. But having both the environment and the people being strange was overwhelming and frightening. But when we went to the playground they were used to, even if there were still other children they didn’t know there, the environment was familiar so they felt safer.
Making memories for our children is something we want to do as parents, but when things don’t go the way we expect them to, we get frustrated and discouraged when what we need to do is take a step back. Take a deep breath and assess the situation and listen to what our children are telling us, which will not always be through verbal communication. It was really a learning experience for me and will be something I know I will need to continue to work at. Just because a plan or a day didn’t go the way you wanted or expected it to doesn’t mean it was a failure. The failure would have been if I had let that frustration in that moment actually ruin the outing and come home instead of changing plans and going somewhere that they wanted to go to and enjoy.
Over the past two weeks I’ve been dealing with a lot of things, between sick kiddos, getting over the holidays, and more. One thing I promised myself with the new year was to get my house back under control. To put it simply, my house is ‘lived in’ and unfortunately with the loss of my mom two years ago I will admit that I had fallen into a pretty dark place that first year. Then the second year as I grieved and healed with the help of God I was finally beginning to feel like I had my head above water again.
So as 2023 hit I promised (to myself) that I wasn’t going to let myself be controlled by the clutter and mess of a disorganized house. I wasn’t going to let the laundry pile turn into a mountain and I wasn’t going to put off what I could do today to do tomorrow, because you and I both know it wasn’t going to happen tomorrow either. So I was hit with another dilemma, as small as my house is, I had no idea where to start.
For the record, I am not saying that I haven’t cleaned my house in two years. But I definitely let somethings get the better of me, namely laundry and dishes in the sink. So those were obviously at the top of my list. I have heard some people say to have a productive day you need to make the bed. For me, the starting place was getting out of my PJs. It may seem like such a simple task but as someone who works from home full time there have been many occasions when I’ve entered into a complacency and found myself at two in the afternoon and realizing I was still wearing my pajamas. Especially with two little ones running in first thing in the morning full of energy that I definitely did not have.
If you’re struggling to get your house in order I recommend starting with the kitchen/eating areas. Get all the dishes clean, use the dish washer to wash as many as you can and wash the rest by hand. Don’t let them sit and wait for the “wash to finish”. Then hit the bathrooms and following that the rest of the house. I’ve been focusing on 1 room a day and it is much easier to maintain. Everyone pitches in to keep it clean because everyone in the house has felt tangibly happier as a result of keeping the house in order.
To be honest after the last year, having a sink full of dishes or a pile of laundry that never ended was beginning to feel normal. We didn’t know how much of an impact it made on our mental and emotional state until we finally had enough and decided as a family to make a change. I’m not saying a person’s house has to be spotless, Lord knows that is not my style. I still do plenty of arts and crafts with the girls, we bake, we cook, we have a lived in house. But I feel like it is a lot easier to enjoy those things when your house is tidy. Sweep the floors immediately after a craft instead of at the end of the day which can often be pushed to the next day. Wipe the tables and counters down as soon as you spill something. Toss or donate what isn’t needed. Throw away trash, immediately, don’t let it sit on the countertops. Basically, don’t let the small chores build into big ones. There are so many small, seemingly insignificant, things that when they continuously pile on top of each other can put a pressure and weight on your shoulders that you don’t even know is there until its not there any more.
When your environment is clean you feel happy, motivated, and healthy.
Little Piece of Quiet 